"My eyes are dry. My faith is old. My heart is hard. My prayers are cold."Have you ever felt this way? This morning as I was driving in to my office at World Indigenous Missions, this old Keith Green song was running through my mind. I think that as you go through life, serving God in ministry, desensitization and apathy can come at us in various forms. Of course we all face personal challenges and struggles and deal with family drama. And most of us (unfortunately) know what it's like to have a spiritual leader disappoint us or even break our heart. If we're not careful, though, these things can creep inside us and begin to cloud our vision of eternity. We can begin to feel like what we do doesn't really matter and become discouraged, bitter, withdrawn and complacent. And while these feelings may all be entirely justified, and feel like a warm blanket that we are perhaps entitled to snuggle in for a while, consider this sobering thought; complacent people don't pose much threat to the kingdom of darkness.
"and I know how I ought to be; alive to You and dead to me."As I look forward to 2010, a big part of me is very glad 2009 is over. It was a challenging year...and not in a good way. I'm hoping 2010 will be easier, but the truth is, it may not. So, I'm starting the year the best way I know...by fasting and drawing near to God. Don't get me wrong. There were a lot of great things about 2009, and the truth is I'm thankful for the challenges as well. Without troubles, how would we grow? In fact, when viewed in light of eternity, they really only help me...they help me locate my own weaknesses and they help me rely more fully on God.
"So what can be done for an old heart like mine? Soften it up with oil and wine. The oil is You, your spirit of love. Please wash me anew with the wine of your blood."Yes, Jesus, yes.
Thanks, Keith. I needed that. :)